but if you WANT to offer free babysitting….

So.  Today my post is at Wives of Faith.  And scheduled since I am still vacationing it up.

I read a little while ago a bunch of posts about the chasm of understanding (or lack thereof) between the military and civilian community.  Things might be different between Canada and the States, but we certainly have the same disconnect between the military and general population.

But it made me think a lot about what it was exactly we were expecting from the non-military types.  Support?  Encouragement?  Free babysitting and total admiration?  Okay, I know none of us say we want that last one, but is that really what we are always hoping for?

It always makes me a little sad when my civilian friends comment that they don’t want to complain to me about their husbands overnight business trip or the time they have to spend apart for oilfield work because they figure I won’t have sympathy.

I do!  I think all time apart sucks.  Sure, if you want to act like I have no idea how bad you have it, or get all overly dramatic about it I might roll my eyes a little, but for the most part I think we all have different struggles and comparing them in some sick ‘mine is bigger than yours’ competition is not what friendship is about.

Because we (and by we, I mostly me I) run the risk as a military blogging community of making it more about hating the civilian community for not understanding instead of using our shared bond to support and encourage each other.  And once we go there, it’s not long before we start turning on each other, saying one can’t understand the other because they haven’t done as many tours, because their dh’s job is different, because they have fewer children or closer family, etc…….

And no matter how specific of a group I found, even if it was only for women my age who’s hubby’s have the same job as DH and who have 3 kids and have experienced 3 deployment, would I ever find someone who understood exactly the joys and struggles of my life?

So this is the article I wrote for Wives of Faith.

(click the link below, and check out Wives of Faith while you’re at it!)

Seeking Understanding

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