When Love Is A Green Pile of Gear in the Livingroom
Regularly, while reading Mrs. Alana’s posts, I feel old.
Okay, not old, maybe, but like an old married person
.
Which I am not. 10 years does not even get props for married shelf-life when you consider how long many people out there have been married. I have lots of friends with 25, 35 or 50 years behind them, who are still looking forward to more.
But reading her adorable newlywed blog, it can seem like I’ve been married FOREVER. And not even in that bad kind of ‘ohmygoodness will it ever stop‘ forever, but just the comfortable, happy, wouldn’t have it any other way kind of forever.
So, she inspires me. And then I end up writing posts like this.
Every day, every year for well, even longer than the 10 1/2 years we have been married, Love is something different.
Love is…
~dropping you at the airport when you only just got home a few days ago. Cause it’s what we do.
~capable of taking place over thousands of miles. Sometimes, it seems harder in the same house.
~shutting up even when you (or I. Mostly I, but sometimes you) deserve the last word.
~striving to make a change in myself because you inspired me by how you loved me first and never asked me to change at all. Even when I needed to.
~not a feeling, some days, but an actual, conscious decision.
~wishing you were here.
~being proud of the reasons you are gone.
~surprising me by walking in the door 3 days early and not complaining that the house looks like I let the kids live in it alone.
~having to call me at 5 a.m. and starting the call with ‘I’m ok”.
~a 2 am text to say ‘goodmorning’ when you forgot you are in a timezone 3 hours ahead
~not killing you when I finally realize you just came home for 3 days, left for another 2 months and this is going to be sitting here until you get home. Again.
~patient, kind, slow to anger and all those good things it says in the Bible. But most of all, it’s forgiving of those times that it’s none of those things.
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reccewife
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39 COMMENTS
Leave A Comment
Tiffany Booth | 5th Oct 11
Love your site! I’m your newest follower on GFC and Networked Blogs! I’d love to have you as a follower on the PS Beauty Blog too!
I look forward to reading more of your posts 🙂
Dianne Dahl | 5th Oct 11
Amazing post! I love it!
RecceWife | 5th Oct 11
Thanks Nae, that's so sweet. I love your blog too 🙂
RecceWife | 5th Oct 11
Thank you Dianne!
RecceWife | 7th Oct 11
It's definately not as easy as it looks on tv 🙂
Toloveasoldier | 8th Oct 11
Beautiful. Very, very beautiful. And thank you for the last comment on my blog. : )
Mrs. K | 8th Oct 11
Love this post. And 10 years is really something to treasure!
Laidlawamy | 11th Oct 11
I always look forward to reading your latest post, even though I rarely comment (because I never feel like I can add anything interesting to the discussion), I always enjoy them! What strikes me most is that you and I have such different home lives in many ways, yet our challenges in marriage and motherhood (and mainting sanity) are so relatable! I guess some of that stuff is universal. Really liked your comment about "shutting up even when you (or I. Mostly I, but sometimes you) deserve the last word". So true and it has encouraged me to bite my tongue a little more :).
RecceWife | 12th Oct 11
Of course. Hoping all turns out well for you and you little one
RecceWife | 12th Oct 11
thank you!
RecceWife | 12th Oct 11
Awe, well thanks! The whole 'shutting up' deal really is hard!
Militarywifemayhem | 20th Nov 11
The pile of green reminds me of my house in so many ways!!!
LOVE THE POST!!!
http://www.militarywifemayhem.com
RecceWife | 20th Nov 11
It does seem to be a common theme for all of us! Thanks!
Hoolieana | 31st Oct 12
I love the one about the gear being left for two months…haha.
Natasha Grimes | 31st Oct 12
Beautiful post! Yeah, sometimes I deserve the last word too. Usually don't get it but oh well.
Alana | 31st Oct 12
Oh dear, now you've got me all teary-eyed! It's so beautiful for this mushy newlywed to see wonderful "old married" love. (You're so not old, by the way.) 🙂
It reminds me that even though the newness may fade and like you said, love sometimes has to be a conscious decision, that it's all worth it.
And this part is exactly how I feel:
"striving to make a change in myself because you inspired me by how you loved me first and never asked me to change at all. Even when I needed to."
I'm so honored to have inspired such a beautiful post!
AK | 31st Oct 12
I heard over the weekend that the divorce rate is now 80%, which really alarmed me so it's so refreshing to see that you and your husband have been going strong now! 😀 Congratulations to you both!!
Jane | 31st Oct 12
Aww I love this post. It's beautiful. In 10 years I hope that we are going strong like the two of you. It's so refreshing to see.
Kerry | 31st Oct 12
This was absolutely beautiful!! What a great post…xo
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Sigh. I was staring at the gear while writing. Sometimes love is annoying piles of green stuff 😛
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Ya, I am totally addicted to having the last word, and have been so working on letting it go. It's (sometimes) working 🙂
Kim | 31st Oct 12
That's a scary statistic! There's still amazing love stories out there, you just gotta look harder I guess 🙂
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Thanks Jane!
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Well, I think I have learned a lot at reading your adorable newlyweddedness. You guys are off to a great start, so keep it up! And when your ten year anniversary rolls around you too can feel like to old people on the block ;D
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Thank you Kerry. It's definately one of those ones that I wrote and then thought of a bunch of things I could have said after the fact. I guess I'll just have to write another one sometime 🙂
Stephanie | 31st Oct 12
This is one of those "makes my heart happy" posts. And you're right…love is a conscious decision.
And also…my husband JUST put away the last of his gear while I was away on holidays. We've had a massive pile of green in the corner of the office ever since we moved here in July.
Lara | 31st Oct 12
I love the real-ness that comes with your 10 years of experience. "Shutting up when you know you're right." "Sometimes it seems harder in the same house" That is what true long lasting marriages are made of. It's not always easy but it's worth it. Thank you for reminding me of this.
Kim | 31st Oct 12
sigh. dh often does the "IR" deal which means something like 'immediate reaction' I think. What it should mean is 'excuse to leave your crap lying in the front room in case you need it'. So there is almost always a barrack box and bag lying around either in the front room or the living room. That's not even talking about the terrible horrible no good very bad crawlspace of green doom….
Sigh. See… clearly that's love 🙂
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Haha, ya, it's not all warm fuzzies but I still love it the way it is 🙂
Elizabeth Beck | 31st Oct 12
Love Is. Always and Forever.
Stephanie | 31st Oct 12
"the terrible horrible no good very bad crawlspace of green doom…." Mahahahaha! Too funny. Because it's true.
Kristi Boyd | 31st Oct 12
Her blog makes me feel old too. 🙂 I love your description of love with experience and years behind it. I hope that your first 10 years is the first decade of many.
Fran@BCDC | 31st Oct 12
Hi Kim! Thanks for dropping by at BCDC! Love this post. I'll be back!
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Thanks Kristi!
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Thanks for coming by 🙂
Naekiwiromero | 31st Oct 12
I nominated you for a blog award. I always read your blog, but don't always know what to comment 🙂 Thanks for sharing!!
http://mrskiwimisseshermarine.blogspot.com/2011/10/awesome-blog-award.html
The New Normal | 31st Oct 12
I love this! I totally agree with all of it! We've been married 10 years too and there are many times when I feel like it's been forever, but I am so looking forward to making it to 50+ years. I still need to work on the "shutting up" part! And the 5am call to say they are OK, while nerve wracking, are sometimes the best calls. At the moment, all my husband's gear is neatly put away, but I actually cannot wait for when in a few months it, along with lots of sand, will be strewn all over the place – I just hope I remember that when it happens!
Kim | 31st Oct 12
Totally been there. I spend all that time thinking I'll be so happy when his sand filled crap is in the door, then it only takes a a few days before I want it (not him 🙂 GONE! Ha! This time is worse, because HE's gone and his crap is still here! O'well, it makes me look like a good wife for putting up with it 🙂
Suzanne | 31st Oct 12
Yes, after 16 years of marriage, there's the potential to take things forgranted, etc. I won the "Love Dare" book almost 3 years ago and I am doing it now. I'm surprised how hard it is to "not say something negative" even on the smallest of issues. I found myself actually biting my lip the other day.
I think it's that awareness (and a trust in God and His grace) that can make a regular marriage into a spectacular one! But we have to be willing to do our part…