But Could We Get A House With A Garage?

I have no patience.

None. 

It’s a virtue, I know.  Something you should never pray for (or you will be given opportunity to test it, or so I hear), something that wise and strong people possess in abundance.

I have none.

When I want to lose weight, I don’t want to make small changes over time, I want to see results  NOW. 

When I am shopping for something, I am way to easily convinced to buy it where I am than to check the prices and drive all over town looking for a better deal. 

When I write a blog it is almost painful for me to hit the ‘schedule’ button.  I just want to post it.  NOW.

I have no patience.

For the next few months I get the opportunity to build some.

Which is funny, because I don’t remember praying for that.

But hey, you get what you need and I guess what I need is the chance to see what it’s like living the next 4 or so months in limbo, not knowing where we’ll call home this summer.

We could go west.  We could go east.  We will not be staying here.

And by ‘we will not’ I mean, you know, probably not since we can’t be certain about anything.

Wait.  That’s not true.

We can be certain that God will be in this posting season. 

Other people might have to consider trying to discern the will of God in where they should live.  Conveniently, the army does that for us.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.  We don’t have to make big decisions like where to live, the army tells us where to go.

If only they would tell us sooner.

I am the kind of terrible wife who so far has handled multiple deployments with more grace than posting season. 

We’ve never lived anywhere except here in DH’s whole career.

(It’s hard to get posted when you always deploy.)

But now, it’s own turn.  And no complaints, it’s time we suck it up and move like everyone else in this line of work.

But goodness, you would think I would handle it better. 

It’s not the idea of moving that frustrates me.  I know it’s time.  And both of the opportunities in front of us are great ones that I am very proud of DH for being considered for.  We have been really blessed in it all.

But seriously, you would think I would have more patience.
Or at least the common courtesy to put a smile on my face and act like I am totally cool with not knowing anything for sure until the spring.

Instead I’ve bitched relentlessly over my frustration.
Instead I’ve tried to pull all control out of God’s hands and give myself some imaginary control over the situation. 
Instead, I’ve acted like a 3 year old who is being offered a cookie but can’t handle waiting until after school to eat it.

For.  The.  Love.

I just need to stop.

I just need to breathe.

I just need to trust. 
A little more on Him and a little less on myself.  

He makes that clear when he gives me something I have absolutely no control over, and then gives me lots of time to think on it. 

He is telling this woman, the one who hates deligating because I am too busy micro-managing, that He’s got this and I don’t.  And sitting around checking MLS listings for 2 different cities from now until April….

Shockingly that’s not going to put any more control into my court.

So until then, I’m going to enjoy a little more of this

and a little less obsessively checking the housing markets.

How do you put things out of mind when you have nothing you can do but wait?

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