It’s ok, DH thinks those fine lines are sexy

In just over a week, it will be my birthday.

Again.

I swear I just had one.  No joke.  But here it is again.

And as I look around at celebrities who melt down at the idea of getting
old, at my kids that are no longer babies and at my face that is
screaming ‘stop cheaping out on the eye cream!’ I realize that
birthday’s will probably keep coming as long as I am here.

That’s a good thing.  I like birthdays.

But it is tempting to start to get a little antsy about that number that will always keep getting a little higher.

This year, I have had the privilege of meeting 2 amazing women.  And
these women, they could strike you as being completely different.  They
are.  But only through time.

The first is an incredibly sweet 20 year old girl, a newlywed married
this year with a baby on the way this summer.  She is scared and excited
and every once and a while I get the impression that maybe past the
nausea and the stress, this whole thing feels a little like playing
house.

Oh, I get that.  So much so I get a little nostalgic every time I see her.

She is bold, nervous and honest, with her young soldier husband who is
just starting out a promising career.  She’s holding on to a faith that
God will grant her the grace she needs for each day even when there are
hurdles bigger than she imagined.  She’s filled with plans and ideas and
wondering what is coming for her tiny growing family.

I love spending time with her, she’s a lot of fun.  And I can’t get over the fact that she reminds me of someone…..

As I think about the next few years for her, the excitement of the new
baby and the joy and struggle that comes when it seems that you cram your honeymoon period and your new addition all in at once.
I think back fondly.  And I find I am already getting that old lady
vision where it all seems like it was so magical and happy and….

Ya, that lasts about a minute.  Because when the rose coloured glasses
come off I realize that while I wouldn’t trade those years of my life
for anything,  I am just so very happy they are over.  I may never
see myself in a maternity ward full of adrenalin and expectation again. 
I may never be a newlywed again (no matter how we may try to act like
it).

And that’s OK.

Because I met another friend this year, too. (I’m going ahead and
calling them both friends because it’s not unlike me to just force a
friendship with me on people.  I’m pushy like that). 

She’s an amazingly strong woman with 25 years married to her soldier,
with her kids grown up and moving out.  She has a job that you can tell
she excels at and I get the impression that she is enjoying every minute
of where she is at in life.

She is feisty and loud and opinionated (and she also reminds me a lot of
someone…), with her soldier husband who has worked hard to become a
respected Sgt Major.  She travels all over it seems and she is
rediscovering her amazing artist abilities that got a little neglected
when being  mom took over.  She is honest and willing to share the
wisdom that she has more than earned over the past couple decades.

I love spending time with her, she’s a lot of fun.  And I can’t
get over the fact that one day, when I find myself where she is at, if I
can also present myself with the confidence and strength that she does,
I think I’ll be OK with it. 

Because as I think about the next few years for her, the enjoyment (and
heartache) of watching her kids start out on their own and the joy of
getting to that place when it’s once again just her and her soul mate
left to enjoy each other’s company… I look forward fondly.  We’ll get
to that place too, one day.

But that feeling lasts about the same amount of time as the first. 
Because then I realize that my kids are still kids and I’m not ready for
him to find jobs and apartments in the city just yet.  Just as much as I
am not willing to go back to being a new mom with babies on the way, I
am not willing to skip where I’m at to see them all grown up yet,
either.

It’s a blessing to be able to spend time with women on both sides of
where I am right now and realize that age is one of those things God
never intended for us to try and control.  It is what you choose to do with your years that matters.

There’s lots of Bible goodness about that, but lets just go ahead and
leave off with a quote from the Lord of the Rings, shall we?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thewanderingreader/6129634869/

So don’t wish me happy birthday yet.  It’s not until next week.  

But when it comes, it’s OK that you know that I’ll be 31.


Bring on the eye cream.

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