This is not a response to someone else. Except that it kinda is.

I’ve written something like this before, here.

It was called ‘Seeking Understanding’.  Cause, well, we all crave that, don’t we.  Someone who ‘gets us’.

Then yesterday, my Social Media lit up with a blog written by an American Army Wife who decided to call out one of the other branches of the Military for not being worthy of being compared to her husband’s branch.

In fact, she went so far as to say they had no right to call themselves Soldiers, or for their wives to be referred to as ‘Army Wives’.

I’m not going to give her blog any more traffic with a link.  (Doesn’t that make my blog sound all important like the traffic it would generate would be enormous!) The truth is, this post is more about realizing the ways I act like her instead of just taking her on.  She’s entitled to her opinion and mine are probably not going to change them.  I can only imagine how she feels about Canadian military calling themselves Soldiers and Army Wives.  I mean, we don’t even have our own Drama on Lifetime.

Instead, I will say that as Military Wives…. or lets be honest, as human beings, we do this in other, much less obnoxious levels all.  the. time.

Check out any forum of people with similar experiences.

“You were only in labour 4 hours?  Oh honey, I did 92 hours of hard labour  and have 110 stitches and I still left the next day and walked 5 miles home with my baby in a sling.  With.  No.  Drugs.”


“You just have the ONE baby who’s teething?  Oh, well I have 4.  And they are all chronically sick, I have to feed them 4 separate special diets and some nights all 4 are puking at the same time and I stay up all night washing laundry.”


“You’re struggling financially and have to take a second job?  Oh, sweetie, I work 3 jobs and drive a cab in my free time and we don’t eat meat and only buy expired food and I stay up all night extreme couponing just so we don’t get kicked out of our apartment.”

See where I’m going with this?  Maybe not.  I have a habit of rambling on and not getting to the point.  Especially when I am having too much fun making up ridiculous (but sadly not too far of the mark) quotes.

My point is, in the military community it can sound more like this…

“Your boyfriend is on tour for 6 months and you’re scared because he might go outside the wire?  Well, my husband’s last deployment was 15 months and it got extended to 17.  He spent EVERY DAY getting shot at.  And he could only call home once every 3 months.  For 5 minutes.  And I wasn’t scared even once ’cause that’s just how badass we are”

And I am just as much to blame as the next person. How easy is it for us to find our worth in the difficulty of the situations we have overcome?  It’s tempting to think where we are is harder than anyone around us.

‘I have more kids to look after/no kids to keep me company/no family nearby to help/all this family to deal with/I work full time/I don’t get to go to work….’

If we choose to define ourselves by the extremity of the challenges we have faced in life, then we will always be looking around to others proving to ourselves (and sometimes, out loud to those around us, or in blog form) that our life is harder and we are better people for having overcome.

But that’s not how we were meant to go through life.  When we start one-upping each other like one gigantic pissing-contest, no one feels supported and everyone feels alone. 

http://personaltrainercommunity.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Ahead-Of-Competition-.jpg

Sharing our experiences, that’s part of the beauty of life.  That’s part of my blog and most of the blogs I read.  I have met amazing ladies through writing.  Almost all American Military, Navy, Army, Air Force, Marines and yes, the National Guard.  They feel like friends to me.  I love reading about their lives, their experiences, their struggles and their victories.  They are not the same as mine.  But how boring would it be if they were?

And I know some Military Wives here, in life.  Because of where we live, most are Army (thought I know some Airforce and Navy wives as well).  In the Armoured Corp, the Infantry, Mechanics, Military Police, Engineers and more.  And yes.  Reservist families too.  Each one’s individual lives, accomplishments and stories are of infinate value and worth because only they know what it’s like to experience their lives. 

But using our experiences to belittle other’s?  That’s only going to leave everyone, including yourself, feeling alone in your own challenges.

Unless it’s about being cold.  Cause you girls from Hawaii, I totally got you on that one 🙂

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