Guest Blogger Series…. same same, but different!

After I wrote my post on Monday, I was wasting time on facebook and came across a Canadian Military group I check out now and again. I joined to advertise family support events at one time, and I can;t say I’ve ever commented or posted anything, but I admit I check it out when I am lurking.  Which happens more now that I’m here and don’t know anyone in real life….

Anyhoo, the topic was a change in some funding for military families, but the comments, well, they weren’t about that at all.

They were one big pissing contest of how much harder each base had it.  How much harder each military branch had it.

There was no supporting anymore.  Only a power struggle.  Except the power was over who had the most expensive cost of living/most frequent deployments/hardest time finding work/etc.

And hey, each one had points.

Some cities are more expensive to live in and much harder for a spouse who wants to work to find a job.  Some cost less to live in but are far from family and friends.  Some are welcoming to military families, other’s less so.

Some branches of the military deploy more frequently, some deploy into more dangerous regions and some deploy longer than others.

Some people don’t have children and fee isolated.  Some people have young kids and feel trapped.  Some have special needs kids and feel no support.  Some have teenagers and feel like they are fighting a battle every day.   Some are empty nesters and feel like there’s nothing left just for them.

All of these are real struggles from a real person.

But the way we seem to have it, we fight as though our own experiences aren’t valid unless we can somehow prove they are the hardest experiences in the room.

Have you ever heard women talk about giving birth?

It’s starts out all innocent with one lady’s story, then all the women in a 20 mile radius join in.  Where they delivered, who needed drugs and who didn’t, how long it took, how many stitches were used, what went wrong.. And it’s all good ,old fashion mommy bonding, until it turns into something different.  It’s that moment where it becomes less about sharing and encouraging (or cringing:) and more about feeling the need to justify your existence as a mother by how bad your experience was in childbirth.

Well, I find most Military Spouse forums fall into that trap more often than not.

And we feel like we have to justify our existence as Military spouses by somehow proving that our experiences have been harder than others.

But really, ladies, when we make it one big bitch about who’s got it worse, no one feels supported.  And wasn’t that the point in the first place?

I have written about this before, here.  apparently because it just bugs me that much.  And not because I’m not guilty of it, because I most definitely am.

So instead of me, trying again to explain how everyone has struggles that are different but no less valid, and everyone has victories that are not the same but just as important…

Other people are going to say it for me!

So in the coming while, I will have on here posts from various bloggers and writers, who come from different bases and who’s spouses have different jobs. 

And they are going to share struggles that are unique to them but no less real, as well as the ways we are all the same.
Things that they see as a positive for them, and things they wish might be different.

My example to them:

Generally speaking, Canadian soldiers who are in combat trades deploy for ‘only’ 6 month (that are usually 7-8 month) tours of duty to Afghanistan.  Compared to American year long deployments, I am grateful for that.

But lets face it ladies, while I love my soldier in his cadpat, your Marine dress uniform is… well….. there sure is something about it, hey? 😉

So come read what they all have to say this next little while.  Ask questions, and continue to enter the contest by clicking over here and asking me a question.  So once we hear from all the other fabulous people, I will write a post answering our questions on what it’s like to be a Military Family in Canada.

A Canadian Contest

Once my post is up, we will have our winner! (See, I told you it was going to be done all laid back and at my whim….)

If you would like to write a guest piece for me about what you’re life is like in your country as a Military Family, send me an email at reccewife(at)gmail(dot)com.  I’d love to include you!  

Comments

comments

Related posts:

Contest Series: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along – Guest Blogger Taingamala! New Series: The Pink Elephant at Jiu Jitsu Why Can’t We All Just Get Along – Guest Post by The New Normal! Guest Post: How The Military Assisted in Love