On Poppies and Remembering

A while back, I read a blurb by a psychologist who discouraged people from spreading pictures of poppies and veteran support through social media because while it didn’t do anything to actually ‘support’ veterans, it did make veterans uncomfortable, forcing them to relive memories they would rather forget.

I’ve had that rattling around in my head for a bit.
I won’t argue with her, she works with many veterans and specializes in PTSD and OSI and many of those she sees feel the way she has stated.  She is obviously far more qualified than I am to make any statement about this.

Let’s face it, your facebook sharing doesn’t actually support anyone, no matter what the cause.  Sharing 50 pictures of soldiers on one knee next to a cross will not actually support a single soldier needing help.  Not one.  Not any more than your pink ribbon pictures help anyone with Breast Cancer or your Giraffe profile picture is doing….. anything but offering amusement.

Seriously, the eyes/door debate is being taken a liiiiitle too seriously by some of you….

Anyways, I see the point clearly that your yellow ribbon posts and ‘support our troops’ facebook stickers and ‘share if you love our soldiers’ sharing is not doing anything to help support our veterans who are lost, hurting or injured either physically or emotionally. 
Donating to charities like Soldier On or the Wounded Warrior Project is a good start if that’s what you were trying to do.
We can all admit that we know deep down that social media sharing does nothing, long run, in tangibly helping anyone. 


So this, this is my opinion.  I am not in the military, nor am I a veteran.  So I share from my own experiences and understanding knowing that those who know better than me, might feel differently.

I’ve met a lot of combat veterans.
In fact, I am married to one, but that’s not where it ends.

I have had the privilege of meeting a few of those still around, like my Poppa, who is 93 and a veteran of the Royal Canadian Artillery in WWII

I’ve briefly had the chance to speak with Korean veterans over the years as well at various functions.

And simply due to the nature of Dhs job and the men he serves with, I know many veterans of Afghanistan as well as Bosnia, Kosovo and other conflicts.

And of those I know who saw combat and lost friends, there is one thing they all vocalize the most clearly.

They are not prepared for the reality of their wars to be pushed to the background.
They are afraid their friends and comrades will slip to obscurity and no one will know their names.

They are most concerned that we not forget.
That we not forget the war they fought.
That we not forget their friends.

They need us to remember.

And that, that is the purpose of Remembrance Day and the Poppy.
It is not a symbol to glorify war.
It is a symbol to encourage remembrance.

No one should be forced to wear one.  Forced respect is not respect at all.
And I am sure there are some veterans who reject the poppy for their own reasons and they have that right.

But for those of us who have never seen what they have seen or lost what they have lost, a poppy for 2 weeks and a couple of hours of the 11th speaks to a tradition of ensuring our children remember.

And without remembrance, there is repetition. 
Remembrance Day is about a dream that one day November 11th will come and we will have only memories of wars from a distant past.
The internet tells me it was  George Santayana that said
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”


So how do you wear a poppy?

The Canadian Armed Forces members start to wear poppies on their uniform 2 weeks prior to November 11th.  That is when you see Poppies begin to be available around town.

They are worn on the left side traditionally, and generally not altered, though etiquette over using a Canada Flag or other small pin to hold it on is mixed and mostly accepted.

Poppies are retired after the ceremony on the 11th until the next year.  It’s acceptable to leave it on the cenotaph, or you can simply take it off and keep it for next year.

Here’s some links from the Legion and Canada Remembers for more information.

Poppy Facts

How to Wear a Remembrance Poppy


So what about those facebook pictures?

I will admit, I don’t ‘share’ anything that tells me to in support of something.

But I do change my photo to a poppy around the time that I start wearing one.  The same way that on some dates of the year, I will make time to mention men that have been lost those days, who they were, why they were important.

It’s not about pretending that it supports veterans, to me it’s about remembering.

Because if I allow my years to go by and stop taking those moments, I risk allowing their memories to slip away from me.


And I think maybe allowing ourselves to forget all together would be the biggest disservice we could offer.

For my American friends, who don’t know what Remembrance Day is at all, let me share this poem, In Flanders Fields, that inspires Commonwealth countries like Canada and the UK to wear poppies in recognition of Remembrance Day, which we observe every year on the 11th hours of the 11th day of the 11th month, the day armistice was signed to end WWI.

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