Dear Daughter, I can see you watching me. On Mondays and Wednesdays, after your MMA class is done, you sit out of the way and you wait with your brothers for your dad and I to finish our Kickboxing class. When we started, I had a very romanticized version in my head of what this would look like.  Not only would we be instilling the importance of physical activity in you as a child, you would be able to see it lived out in our lives, too!  Not just do as we say but do as we do!  Parenting win! And then yesterday, as I was looking dishearteningly in the huge mirrors during class, adjusting my pants, I caught your eyes. Your eyes were on me. And you weren’t seeing me confidently rocking roundhouse kicks or sprints or push ups. You were seeing me try and adjust my clothes so that roll of fat at my belly wouldn’t show so much. After class in the change room, your question was hard for me to hear. “Mom, why are you always looking in the mirror in class?” Let me tell you the truth, my love. It’s because I need you to do as I say, not as I do. I feel like I am failing the battle of self-confidence in my head every single day.  Instead of standing in defiance of fitspiration and thinspiration, of ‘motivational’ shaming and the world where the pretty thin girl is always the one in the romance movie to get the boy, I cave. My heart, deep down, can’t shake that you-don’t-look-good-enough-to-do-this attitude. My head, it tells me I don…