New Series: The Pink Elephant at Jiu Jitsu

About 3 months ago, I was going to start a series on what it’s like to be a woman starting to take martial arts classes.

I was going to write a short piece here and then send in the rest to the Wives of Faith website I write for, since I said I would write on fitness.  It was supposed to be my fierce explanation bout how I confidently
overcame my misgivings and walked into a room of men and learned martial
arts with them.  Because this is 2014 and women can do these things and so
can I.  I’ve watched the UFC, those girls are strong and impressive and I
am never going to be a mixed martial arts fighter of any kind, but I
can learn sports.  I like learning sports.  Bring it on!

The fact that the series should already be finished by now is an indication of how well that is going….

It’s been a long journey just to get here.

About year ago I started attending a gym that offered fitness classes, as well as various classes in several different martial arts, for both kids and adults.

My kids take Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) and Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), Dh and I take the fitness classes like kettle bells and fitness kickboxing and TRX. We should almost move in, there are days I feel bad for them every time we show up in this big loud family group.

There was a comfort level required with the people who work there that I needed before I could try any of the martial arts.  It took a long time for me to trust them enough to think I could walk into their class having no idea what I was doing and not be made to feel dumber than I already felt.

Eventually, I got up the nerve.
A BJJ class took place at the gym at noon and so I drove there, nervous and fretting in my head about what would happen.

I parked.

I tried to psych myself up.

I failed.

I drove home.

So much for fierce.

Let me tell you the reasons I was chicken.
They are entirely reasonable and not at all ridiculous and girly and stupid.

1. Someone might grab fat.  (Not even the slightest bit concerned about the boobs, friends. In a sports bra I look like a 12 year old boy anyways, and it’s a sport, put your hands where they need to go.  Accidentally grab my butt?  O’well.  I have 3 kids, I have been pawed at a lot.  I probably won’t notice.  But my FAT?  How shameful!). This leads to….

2. I might accidentally grab someone’s junk. (And then he might think I did it on purpose.  Or what if I hurt him? If anyone is going to do something awkward, IT WILL BE ME).

3. Everyone knows what they are doing but me. (I hate being the new person. I feel like it’s so much pressure to learn, but I am also such a slow learner, so I am terrified I will just frustrate my teacher and partner.  It takes a lot of effort to watch each demonstration without mentally preparing my grocery list for that week. I am programmed to multi-task).

4. What if I get pinned and panic. (This has more to do with me, my life experience and the fact the class is made of men, than anything else.  I was worried that experience and instinct would make me panic if I was rolling with someone, and nothing would scream “the girl can’t handle it!’ more than hyperventilating or crying).


5. No one will want to be my partner. (And I don’t blame them.  I’m smaller than they are. I’m smaller than most girls, let alone the men in that room.  I require a lot of patience.  These guys come with skill and they want to train with actual partners who don’t suck. Also, as one of the gym owners, who happens to be a tiny women herself pointed out, as the only girl in class I am a BIG PINK ELEPHANT. Picking partners is why I skipped Phys Ed class in high school).

6. What if someone jumped on my bladder or something and I accidentally peed my pants, or was feeling particularly gassy that day, or what if I smelled bad or had bad breath and my partner was grossed out by me? (You’re basically spending a lot of time hugging another person.  My personal hygiene has got to be spot on for this, and, well, in January I was in full blown winter mode for that.)

See how reasonable I was being????

Neither did Dh.

So I drove home and came back later for my fitness class and no one was the wiser.

Now I would like to say I am more confident, less brainwashed and insecure and intimidated than this list would say, but you all know I’m not.
I’m honest, though.

My story did continue with my very first class later that week.
None of those things happened.

Trying Jiu Jitsu that first time looked less fierce and more like failure.
Which is why it took so long to start this series, because I want you to try, and I want you to do it better than I did.

So after 3 months I think I am almost ready to put on the screen what being a woman beginner in a Jiu Jitsu class looks like.
So far, it looks like bad hair and no idea what I’m doing.
And I think I love it.

So keep checking in for the rest of the series as I embarrass myself mostly by pointing out the ways I worry about what doesn’t matter anyways.

What would hold you back from trying something like martial arts?
Tell me I’m not the only woman more concerned about the fat grab than the boob…..

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