Today I cleaned the kitchen.  This isn’t *that* shocking, I keep a relatively clean house, only because when my house is cluttered my head feels cluttered.  But this morning, I had no intention of cleaning.  When you live apart for half a year, or, say, more than half of the past 3 years, or huge chunks of an entire 14 year marriage, sometimes big things happen.   Sometimes a couple grows apart, someone is unfaithful, someone wants to leave, can’t wait anymore or is just plain done.  But other times, other times none of those things happen.   You are still very much in love.  You’ve never had the time, energy or even the smallest interest in an affair.  You’re in this for life  Instead something else creeps up when you don’t expect it.  Turns out I got really comfortable alone.  I made my own choices, my own decisions.   If I wanted to leave at 8pm and go shopping, or skip the gym in the morning, or make grilled cheese for dinner all week, no one was there to say anything. Then he is home and I resent it. He is in my space.  He has a voice in my decisions.  He speaks up and sometimes he says things I don’t want to know or make judgements I am not interested in hearing.  So things are tense.  Adjusting is hard.  I’m not fun to live with, and sometimes that means neither is he.  Fuses are short.  Sometimes one of us pushes it too far.  This morning it was Dh, but that doesn’t mean it’s never me.  It just wasn’t me this time. When both of us went to work this morning neither…