So there’s an event coming and you’re looking forward to it! Awesome! I love having something on the horizon that makes me happy. But wait? Is your spouse in the military? Then lets back it up there a second. This is going to take some planning. I am 100% convinced that when Dh has a course or exercise coming up, the powers that be look at the roster of soldiers on it and say ‘find out their spouse’s birthdays/anniversaries/vacations and see how many you can cram into the time we have to plan for.’ Dh assures me no one has the time and/or real desire to pull this off. I disagree. But that’s not the point. The point is, if you have an event coming up that you’d like to enjoy, you may need to make a few plans so you can really be sure it turns out. Plan to be alone for it. Dh absolutely hates the fact that I plan literally every aspect of our lives as though he’s not home. But you know what? Then if he is home, I’m super thrilled, and if he’s not home, I’m far less homicidal (please note I said less). So it’s win/win. 2. Plan and 2nd, 3rd and 4th date. Say it’s date night. Or a romantic weekend. Or say, your honeymoon. Those are things you have to plan his being home for, I understand. So go ahead and have a backup plan. Or 5. You think I’m kidding? I know people on their 4th wedding date. 3. Learn to love the last minute getaway. I loath advance planning…
This weekend, on May 19th, is mine and DH’s 11th Wedding Anniversary. And I’m going to let you in on a little known fact. It’s actually not. It’s true, even ask my husband who had his security clearance papers returned because he used this date as his wedding date. If you look at our Marriage Certificate, our actual anniversary is in March. Why, you ask? Because we were 19. We were broke. We couldn’t even afford an apartment and if we were going to be married and actually live together, we needed to live in military housing. Military housing required a marriage certificate to place us on the waiting list for a house. The waiting list was one month long. Before we were married, I lived with my parents in a city about 3 hours away from him. He lived in the single quarters on base. It was not an option for either of us to move in with the other, so had we waited until our wedding to put in our names for a house, we would have had to wait a month in order to live together. A month still being apart after our wedding. We were unwilling to do that. So we went to the office of our Pastor with 2 of our friends and signed papers. In our jeans a t-shirts. With no one there but the required witnesses. We didn’t invite our parents. I think we might have gone out for lunch with a friend after. And that was that. When I walked down the aisle at that fancy dream wedding I mentioned here, I wasn’t scared he’d run. Technically, he was already my husband. The army, it…
No one had ever asked me to be a bridesmaid before and well, that seems like a sad testament to me at 30 years old that I don’t seem like bridesmaid material. I was starting to wonder what kind of friend I am that I’ve never been included in someones big day. BUT all was not lost because this past weekend, I was a bridesmaid. And because I like to delight (bore) you with fascinating (lame) lessons that I learn when doing things other people don’t find that interesting, I give you what I learned as a bridesmaid: 1. Strapless dresses don’t stay put. I have never in my life worn something strapless before, but my bridesmaid dress was. It was very pretty and I am grateful for the good taste of the bride, but I spent most of the night, along with the other bridesmaids, hiking it up. Why does it look so natural in movies? 2. If someone locks your keys in your car on a hot day with the bouquet inside an hour before the wedding when you and all the bridesmaids and bride are still 30 minutes away from the ceremony location….. eventually you will find a tow company who will feel sorry enough for you to come right away to unlock you. 3. Next time you panic because your automatic car doesn’t seem to be shifting properly, check what gear you put it in. L is apparently not the same as D. 4. Being a bridesmaid is expensive, time consuming, stressful, nerve-wracking…. and totally worth it. Being a part of someones day is a great feeling. The bride was beautiful and the…
This week is my 10 year anniversary. And, not suprisingly, my dh is where he usually is during ‘major’ life events… off saving the world somewhere while I stay home and look after the kids. He was a little upset to miss it. I reminded him he wasen’t home for our first anniversary, or most of the anniversaries in between, and so why ruin the whole trend we have going? It’s just a day. And him not being home doesn’t make us less married. In fact, it makes it the perfect anniversary. Because, in fact, if he were home, I would have EXPECTATIONS. And, invariably, those expectations would not be reached. There would be disapointment. I would be thinking “but it wasen’t as perfect as I pictured.” When a husband deploys what you have, in essence, is the perfect husband for however long he is gone. Because really, how can you fault him for anything while he’s away? He doesn’t leave the toilet seat up, mess up the kitchen, hog the bathroom or fill the laundry room with his crap and make it impossible to do anyone elses laundry but his own. He’s off being all heroic. And your memories of him soon become perfect memories of a perfect life together. It’s total fiction, but it’s wonderful. So while he’s away this anniversary, I will remember those perfect moments and how he’s the perfect husband while I have the chance. Before he get’s home and my front room looks like the army came and threw up in it…
One month from today will be my 10 year Wedding Anniversary. That means that exactly 10 years ago, I was finishing college exams and putting the finishing touches on the ridiculous dream wedding that was coming fast. I had just turned 20. I had no idea what I was doing. I was excited and naive and spoiled and immature. I had lots of ideas of what life would be like and even more about what my wedding day would look like. I would like to write a letter to me, 10 years ago, and let me know what was and wasn’t important. Dear Me ver. 2001 This month will be busy. You are excited and nervous and for the most part acting like a spoiled brat. Since I am 10 years older and so very much more mature, there are some things I have decided you should know: 1. Breathe. You can stress out making place cards and finding the perfect Guest Book until you are blue in the face. People are going to sit where they want. You are going to misplace the guestbook and you won’t even realize it’s gone. 2. I have no idea what possessed you to think singing at your own wedding was a good idea. You can practice all you want, you can’t sing. You will sound terrible. You will cry partway through which will only make it worse. 3. Do it anyway. 4. In the end, he will feel worse about the bachelor party than you do right now. Let it go. 5. You are beautiful. You don’t think you are, but you are. And most importantly, he thinks you are. So lay off the tanning bed before you give 40 year old…
